Porn

Right now I'm upset and depressed. I was looking through my boyfriend portable hard drive (said i could and he was right there watching me), well what I found I didn't like one bit... he has tons of porn. I don't mean like 15 videos of porn, I mean over 500 videos of porn, and he has every kind of porn you can think of, and thats just on his hard drive, not counting his computer!!! And I know a little porn never hurt anybody, I watch it sometimes, but I don't have millions downloaded on my computer!! I am so disgusted, he has everything from animal porn to gay porn (note-i'm not against anything gay, but I don't want him to be confused about his sexuality and be with me if he is into men), and maybe even child porn I don't know, I only saw pictures of a handful of them.

And I would think, that I would be the one to watch porn, he doesn't get me off or anything and still I don't have it downloaded on my computer.

This is the third time I have found porn of his. I really think he has a problem, and it makes me feel bad. Am I not good enough for him, or am I not giving him what he wants? I feel ashamed of myself. Do I not live up to his expectations? He is from Japan and over there everyone is stickthin, I'm not. Is he not attracted to me sexually? I feel like I'm being replaced. Who can compete with women chosen for their youth and beauty just for porn? I don't know what is more important, me or looking at some well arranged pixels?

I think he would feel the same way if I had hundreds of hot sexy guys having sex or jacking off or what not.

And right now, I don't want to have sex with him I don't want to kiss him or anything. I can't stop thinking about what I saw!! It's not right.

I just feel so disgusted that he is into all of that stuff. I am really against animal abuse and whatever I saw with a dog, it is so sick that people would do that. I can't believe it.


UGH